A co-worker of mine is a Phlegmatic Melancholy ; I find him interesting so here’s a quick profile.
This person is very easy going, typical of a Phlegmatic. He’s quiet but not overly so and enjoys the office relationships. But he’s also in charge of the financial part of the business and here his Melancholy “shines”. He is very detailed when it comes to business dealings and has everything documented — you could say he crosses his T’s and dots his I’s very carefully.
The temperament combination shows in his reaction to problems or questions regarding technical issues. They typically go along this line: ”With (X) situation you SHOULD do the following (A, B, C) but it’s up to you; whatever you want to do.” This makes me laugh because his Melancholy is clear on what HE thinks should be done but his Phlegmatic always gets in a last word.
So you can spot a Phlegmatic Melancholy by statements like “You SHOULD do such and such but it’s up to you, I don’t care.”
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I get a lot of comments here saying I’m THIS type of temperament but I am still a 1) leader, 2) helper, 3) some other attribute NOT part of their temperament.
Just to reiterate – your temperament is only the foundation; adding in family, upbringing, schooling, encouragement from others – this is your PERSONALITY. A Phlegmatic can become more outgoing if motivated. A Melancholy can learn that their comments can build up and not tear down. A Choleric can learn sensitivity and a Sanguine can learn to be organized.
Don’t blame your place in life totally on your temperament. Use what you learn about your natural “bent” to create a plan of growth and self improvement.
I study interpersonal communication almost as much as temperament. Actually I taught Sophomore Speech and Communication at the college level. So the other day it hit me that our temperament is actually a form of non-verbal communication.
My simplified definition of non-verbal communication is this: everything BUT your words. Your tone of voice, body language, the car you drive, your accent – any of these can communicate to others.
So an outgoing Sanguine would be recognizable by their warm, friendly, “touchy feely” approach. As a Phlegmatic I was surprised to find that some of my high school contemporaries thought me “stuck up” when I was really just quiet. A Melancholy is probably going to be meticulous in their dress.
A Choleric? Well, I’m not sure – what’s your temperament’s non-verbal language?
“Opposites attract” or at least that’s what they say about relationships. But what about temperaments? There is some truth here as well. We are first attracted to someone who has strengths that we do not. The anxious Phlegmatic is attracted to the strong Choleric and the critical Melancholy may appreciate the Phlegmatic’s laid back nature.
But what happens when one person has two conflicting temperament types as primary and secondary? Remember that each of us is typically a blend to two temperament types – the primary is the way we NORMALLY react to life and circumstances and the secondary often pops up in a variety of unexpected ways.
I’ve often heard from individuals who are stressed by the differences of their two types. For example, I am Phlegmatic Choleric; a laid back individual with a driver secondary. And that can be good – and sometimes bad. I am often chosen as a group leader because the Phlegmatic in me wants everyone to get along and work together and the Choleric in me wants to accomplish goals and keep things moving forward.
But the impatience of my Choleric is often at odds with my lazy Phlegmatic to the point that I get very frustrated. Another example – my wife is a Sanguine Melancholy; a warm outgoing friendly person that everyone easily likes and wants to be around. But the disorganization of her Sanguine causes her organized and critical Melancholy to have “fits” from time to time. The Melancholy wants to be orderly and the Sanguine doesn’t care that much.
The unhappiest combination I have seen is the Melancholy Choleric. Highly organized and driven, the MelChol can be a fantastic surgeon or other detail-driven occupation. But the critical nature of the Melancholy combined with the anger sometimes resident in the Choleric can cause for a lot of personal unhappiness. In fact I had one reader tell me that no one liked them and that they didn’t like themselves!
This, in part, is why I find understanding temperament so important. If you understand that some of these internal conflicts are part of your natural “wiring”, it may not solve the problems but may make them easier to bare and deal with.
So why blends are the “best”? Well, maybe next time.
A couple of comments by readers have caused me to think. What types of temperament types are most likely to look up information on temperament? My “guess” (and that’s all it is is a guess) would be Melancholies first, then Sanguines, then Phlegmatics and finally Cholerics.
Cholerics seem least likely because they tend to see nothing wrong with they way that they are. Phlegmatics may simply not care enough. Sanguines are always interested in learning and hearing about others and Melancholies are most likely to worry and want to analyze why they (and others) are the way they are.
Anyone feel differently? And what would each type be most interested in finding out about? Themselves or others?
I’m often asked questions about temperament where the person asking gives me their Myers-Briggs type and asks a question about the DiSC (or Choleric, Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Melancholy). They’re hard to compare as I discuss in this letter and answer exchange.
Hello Hal:
Thanks so much for sending me the e-book. I appreciate this very much and will be reading it cover to cover. . I will be grateful if you could answer a query for me that has been plaguing me for sometime now.
I have taken many personality tests. It turns out that I always end up with either ENTP or ENFP. However when I read the career choices for these, I resonate with arts, humanities, literature that are all ENFp choices.
Yet I see myself as – Melancholic (critical, analytical, highly organized, easily repressed/discouraged, valuing few friends, living in a fantasy world, making humanitarian plans without having the practicality to implement them, emotional, poetic, philosophical), – Choleric (easily angered/irritated, ambitious, driven, visionary BUT NOT action oriented or brusque or rude), – Sanguine (enjoy company and gaiety, want to make an impression, need to have fun and romance and excitement, love good food and clothes, like to project an image, love esthetics, great communication skills, very talkative).
How can I synthesise the info from these two systems? Can I be a melancholic-sanguine combo?
And here is my reply.
Here are my thoughts. This post on www.introvert.cc talks about reconciling the DiSC (phlegmtic, sanguine, choleric, melancholy) with Myers-Briggs – something that is somewhat difficult to do.
This blog posting covers a brief attempt to reconcile the two personality systems.
So trying to “peg” you via a Myers-Briggs/DiSC approach is difficult for me. Here are my “rules of thumb” for spotting your natural temperament. First, what is your GENERAL approach to life – that is, are you (under normal circumstances – no crises or other hubbub) 1) fairly laid back, 2) usually a driver (moving forward at any cost), 3) warm, talkative and people-oriented or 4) staying organized.
To find your secondary, I usually look at the weaknesses in each temperament type. Under pressure or stress do you 1) try to hide or avoid the pressure, 2) drive forward to the point of running roughshod over others, 3) have sharp but short-lived emotional outbursts, 4) become sharply critical of others? Answer key is the same.
There are excellent DiSC tests available; some of them free. Someday maybe I’ll write a definitive comparison of Myers-Briggs and DiSC – naw, I’m a Phlegmatic . . .
I get a lot of people wondering if their temperament type is “BAD”. Temperament is not BAD nor GOOD; it is what it is – your underlying tendency to be one way or another.
I got this question as a comment: i really want to know if it is bad to be a cholphleg (Choleric Phlegmatic) because I’m often teased of being violently angry.
To which I reply: There is no absolute good or bad when it comes to our temperament; our temperament “just is”. Remember that temperament isn’t alone in how we react to the world. Our personality is our temperament plus our life experience. If you had the example of someone else who got very angry then you might have that as well.
Having said that, a Choleric Phlegmatic isn’t usually prone to angry outbursts. A Choleric Phlegmatic is usually straightforward in how they behave but not particularly accommodating. In other words, “I’ll do it my way and if you don’t like it – tough”.
Every temperament has strengths and weaknesses; you may want to explore what other issues cause you to be so angry.
I read about what u say about the personality types and I would like to know if a choleric/melancholy is compatible with a choleric/melancholy – the same personality.
My boyfriend has the same temperament as me and I would like to know if that makes sense. I am not completely sure if I am a choleric melancholy I may also be a sanguine. I wish my bf to be more relaxed and funny and not so serious all the time and he as well wants me to be more serious and not so “childish”. Is it possibe to work on the relationship that we get along and not be annoyed about the other person’s personality? Are we even compatible?
Susanne
And I reply:
Two Cholerics can get long ONLY if they both share the same ideals and beliefs.And that is NOT common.If he considers you “childish” you may have more Sanguine than you currently think.
Cholerics are most frustrated with Sanguines – they are bothered by what they consider meaningless talk.
Since you cannot change another person’s temperament, you either have to get along naturally, learn coping skills, or “agree to disagree” on topics that cause strife.
Hope that helps – you might want to seek out a more detailed Temperament test to refine your knowledge of your temperament type.
