Temperament – What’s Real?

I’ve studied temperament and personality now for over 10 years. I know the natural strengths and weaknesses of all kinds and types of people. But the saddest thing I think is a person who, for who for one reason or another, has “put on” the behaviors of a temperament type not their own for such a long time that they have “become” that type. It seems so forced and unnatural, like an introvert who thought they had to be outgoing so they forced an outgoing “face” for so long that it stuck (Like your mother told you – if you keep doing that your face will stick that way!) What are your experiences with people who behave “off type”?

2 thoughts on “Temperament – What’s Real?”

  1. I had to do this at a job once, and at first it felt great,t I felt like that outgoing extrovert type that people think highly of, but after awhile I started to feel fake, like there was effort involved in trying to be “natural”. And every time I went to that job I just became that person in fear of being my real self because then people would see the difference and question “what happened to you” if they bought into my facade. I also started to notice that some people could see through it and it threw me off because this was my attempt at hiding and it wasn’t working on them! I even got the attention of some women at work and that definitely motivated me to keep the act up, but ultimately it was tiring, and on the last day of work at an attempt to show people who I really was I went too far to the extreme and showed up on the last day much more somber than usually, and people kept asking me if I was ok, it was strange but it felt more real to who I was than the all-the-time happy go lucky force I emulated days prior to that. This facade was purely born out of fear that if I was my normal introverted self people would be repelled by me and think that I don’t have things together socially. Interesting enough there were two people at the job that I took the risk to be myself around and for some ODD reason they strongly enjoyed my quiet but observant company, which was confusing yet encouraging. I think we (especially as Melancholics) have an assumption of what people like and would be surprised to find out that people like more things than we think. I have had women like me simply because I was the quiet observant type, so I think it can be a strength if I choose to view it as such. TV must of told us the world only loves extroverts, but reality tells a different story.

    1. Thank you for an excellent example of what I was trying to say in the post. Introverted types assume they have to be extroverted to accepted. Quiet people assume they need to be much more socially outgoing to be liked. It can be done but it sure is tiring and, as you say, will puzzle others when they find out you are NOT naturally the type of person you are “acting” like.

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