Each of us has, at some time, wished we had the traits of another person. I wish I was as (cool/smart/beautiful/add your own) as so-and-so. Why are we so dissatisified with the cards we were dealt? I’m not sure I have the answer but it’s a good lead in to this question from a reader:
“I do hate my personality. I’m a health care professional. I have always been the quiet, shy guy. Good at my career but avoid going to far out of the box therefore give up a lot of career opportunities. I wish I could be comfortably outgoing. Is there any way at 47 years old that I could change that? At my age I still don’t like my personality, it holds me back in more ways than one.”
My response: It does no good to hate your personality any more than you can hate your eye color. Your temperament is something you received from birth and heritage. Personally I am extremely introverted but I’ve had to learn (some by being forced and some by making myself) to function well in an extroverted world. And I fail at that as often as I succeed but the trick is to never quit trying.
Remember that your temperament is only one aspect of personality. You CAN make behavioral changes that will offset natural shyness. Join a small group, get some counseling, find an equally introverted friend and challenge each other to be more outgoing.
I know it’s a struggle but keep after it and let me know if I can help in any way.