Hello Hal:

Thanks so much for sending me the e-book. I appreciate this very much and will be reading it cover to cover. . I will be grateful if you could answer a query for me that has been plaguing me for sometime now.

I have taken many personality tests. It turns out that I always end up with either ENTP or ENFP. However when I read the career choices for these, I resonate with arts, humanities, literature that are all ENFp choices.

Yet I see myself as  - Melancholic (critical, analytical, highly organized, easily repressed/discouraged, valuing few friends, living in a fantasy world, making humanitarian plans without having the practicality to implement them, emotional, poetic, philosophical), - Choleric (easily angered/irritated, ambitious, driven, visionary BUT NOT action oriented or brusque or rude), - Sanguine (enjoy company and gaiety, want to make an impression, need to have fun and romance and excitement, love good food and clothes, like to project an image, love esthetics, great communication skills, very talkative).

How can I synthesise the info from these two systems? Can I be a melancholic-sanguine combo?

And here is my reply.

Here are my thoughts.  This post on www.introvert.cc talks about reconciling the DiSC (phlegmtic, sanguine, choleric, melancholy) with Myers-Briggs - something that is somewhat difficult to do.

This blog posting covers a brief attempt to reconcile the two personality systems.

So trying to “peg” you via a Myers-Briggs/DiSC approach is difficult for me.  Here are my “rules of thumb” for spotting your natural temperament.  First, what is your GENERAL approach to life - that is, are you (under normal circumstances - no crises or other hubbub) 1) fairly laid back, 2) usually a driver (moving forward at any cost), 3) warm, talkative and people-oriented or 4) staying organized.

Answer key: 1) Phlegmatic, 2) Choleric, 3) Sanguine, 4) Melancholy.

To find your secondary, I usually look at the weaknesses in each temperament type.  Under pressure or stress do you 1) try to hide or avoid the pressure, 2) drive forward to the point of running roughshod over others, 3) have sharp but short-lived emotional outbursts, 4) become sharply critical of others?  Answer key is the same.

There are excellent DiSC tests available; some of them free.  Someday maybe I’ll write a definitive comparison of Myers-Briggs and DiSC - naw, I’m a Phlegmatic . . .

Hal Warfield

I get a lot of people wondering if their temperament type is “BAD”.  Temperament is not BAD nor GOOD; it is what it is - your underlying tendency to be one way or another.

I got this question as a comment:  i really want to know if it is bad to be a cholphleg (Choleric Phlegmatic) because I’m often teased of being violently angry.

To which I reply:  There is no absolute good or bad when it comes to our temperament; our temperament “just is”.  Remember that temperament isn’t alone in how we react to the world.  Our personality is our temperament plus our life experience.  If you had the example of someone else who got very angry then you might have that as well.

Having said that, a Choleric Phlegmatic isn’t usually prone to angry outbursts.  A Choleric Phlegmatic is usually straightforward in how they behave but not particularly accommodating.   In other words, “I’ll do it my way and if you don’t like it – tough”.

Every temperament has strengths and weaknesses; you may want to explore what other issues cause you to be so angry.

Hope this helps.

Hal Warfield

Hi Hal,

I read about what u say about the personality types and I would like to know if a choleric/melancholy is compatible with a choleric/melancholy - the same personality.

My boyfriend has the same temperament as me and I would like to know if that makes sense. I am not completely sure if I am a choleric melancholy I may also be a sanguine. I wish my bf to be more relaxed and funny and not so serious all the time and he as well wants me to be more serious and not so “childish”. Is it possibe to work on the relationship that we get along and not be annoyed about the other person’s personality? Are we even compatible?

Susanne

And I reply:

Two Cholerics can get long ONLY if they both share the same ideals and beliefs.  And that is NOT common.  If he considers you “childish” you may have more Sanguine than you currently think.

Cholerics are most frustrated with Sanguines – they are bothered by what they consider meaningless talk.

Since you cannot change another person’s temperament, you either have to get along naturally, learn coping skills, or “agree to disagree” on topics that cause strife.

Hope that helps – you might want to seek out a more detailed Temperament test to refine your knowledge of your temperament type.

Hal Warfield

The Keirsey Sorter is here:  http://www.advisorteam.com/temperament_sorter/register.asp and the other is here:  http://www.crown.org/Tools/personality.aspx.

As always I will happily answer your questions concerning Temperament by an email sent to warfieldh@gmail.com.

Hi Hal
Thank you for your article on confronting versus being assertive. And thank you for asking for feedback. First of all, I feel we have a seriously broken down way of communicating. Being assertive protects you but doesn’t seem to change other’s aggressive behavior. They just go find some else to beat down, take advantage of or prove they are right. How do you reach these folks to get them to change? How do you reach these people to realize how their behavior affect others? Why do the good, caring, loving people have to learn to defend, protect, and stand up to these bullies when it isn’t human nature to do so? Why do we have to look over our shoulder? Where did we go wrong in good ol’ fashion love and caring?

Cathy

And I replied:

Cathy -

I write extensively on natural human temperament and two of the four types are not naturally ‘loving and caring”.  Choleric temperament types are hard-driving, straight ahead pushing types that care little for the feelings of others.  Melancholy temperaments are highly analytical and critical and their comments can be seen as hurtful (though they will not perceive it that way).

Phlegmatic and Sanguine temperaments are more naturally warm and easy-going; and they don’t often understand why the other types seem so “mean”.

Read some of my articles on my Temperament blog at www.introvert.cc - insight can always help us cope better.

Hal Warfield

A Melancholy may think you are wonderful in many ways - perhaps, if your boss, they like that you complete assignments in the proper way.  If a “significant other” they may appreciate your attention to detail (assuming you’re not Sanguine!)

But if you get ‘on their bad side’ in an area; prepare to always be looked at critically in that area.  This might be thought of as the ‘prosecuting attorney’ syndrome.  In a trial, your defense attorney will do everything to raise ‘mitigating circumstances’ in your favor.  They may bring in character witnesses or point out that you came from a broken home - anything to show that other circumstances should be considered when looking at your ‘crime’.

Don’t expect any of this to hold water with a Melancholy - you could be angelic in most areas but those mean nothing to the Melancholy.  A Melancholy will put a compartment around your ‘bad’ area and will not let your many ‘good’ areas influence them.

If a Melancholy doesn’t recognize this, you will most likely need to learn to cope.  A Melancholy will not be naturally inclined to look at your good areas and reduce their criticism of your ‘bad’ area.  If this is the case your best approach is to keep that compartment clean and straight - otherwise it will always be a sore spot between you and the Melancholy.

But every type has its weaknesses - the Phlegmatic has two: a tendency to worry and be anxious and a tendency to be lazy.

The rest of this post deals with ways I’ve learned to combat laziness - I say combat because I’ll probably never win the battle completely.

First - everyone is a blend of temperaments; one is primary and the other secondary. Use the strength of the secondary temperament to combat laziness. For example, I am a Phlegmatic Choleric - the Choleric is a hard driving “type A”. I often allow the strength of my secondary type to push through and finish tasks.

A Phlegmatic Melancholy can use the natural organizational talents of the Melancholy to organize tasks. A Phlegmatic Sanguine has no natural defense against laziness - but their Sanguine ability to interact with people might allow them to make themselves accountable to others for tasks being accomplished.

Which is another way of overcoming laziness - accountability. The term “accountability partner” usually infers someone we make ourselves accountable to. Find a friend or family member and ask them to prod (nag?) you till you finish the task.

Change the scene - staying in the same spot can foster a “who cares?” attitude. Invest in tools that allow you to work outside your normal workspace. Then pick a task, move away from your normal work area, and focus on the chosen task.

Deadlines - I almost hate using this one but a deadline can move you off the spot. The problem with this one is procrastination leading to a deadline can cause poor quality work. Use it with care.

Anyone having other ways of overcoming laziness is welcome to comment!

Unless you’re a master of modern mathematics, it’s almost impossible to imagine both how incredibly much smaller the universe is from us (down to the sub-atomic level) and how incredibly much larger the universe is from us (up to the level of galaxies).

C. S. Lewis said, in Mere Christianity, “Besides being complicated, reality, in my experience, is usually odd.  It is not neat, not obvious, not what you expect.”

So today for your amazement and amusement is a link to the pale blue dot - a picture of our earth taken from by Voyager I from a distance of 3.7 Billion miles from earth.

Carl Sagan convinced mission control to turn the cameras of the space probe back on where it had come from - this is our earth from a distance 50 times that from the earth to the sun (93 million miles).

Does it make you think?  Does it make you a bit introspective?  Do you feel significant?  Insignificant?

What constitutes our significance?  Our buildings?  Our science?  How about our kindness and love and caring for one another?

Think about it.

Here are some of the search strings that have been used:

-Choleric and Phlegmatic and Marriage
-Networking Introvert
-Sanguine and Melancholy in Marriage
-Am I an introvert or shy extrovert?
-Introvert Jobs
-Shy introverted
-Melphleg phlegmatic personality
-Cholerics Sanguines compatible
-Basic problems of choleric person

I realize I’m still amazed by this ‘intarweb thingy’ but these searchs come from all over the planet!

And there seems to be a consistent seeking of information on temperament and personality.  Therefore, I’ll just keep on posting ’stuff’ concerning your temperament and how it affects your daily life.

Did you know that psychologists have studied introverts and extroverts?  This article says that introversion is visible in infancy and remains stable through adolescence.  So much for my parents saying, “he’ll grow out of it.”

On a “lighter” note, from the “wow, I didn’t know that!” department, The Center for Atmospheric Research has determined that a single large cumulus cloud in a summer sky weighs (wait for it, waaaait for it) 550 tons.

Something for introverts and extroverts alike to ponder.